There was no "try" in my life... I never tried to do something impossible... knowing its impossible... but now... I'm asking someone to try... hahaha...funny...
TRY by NELLY FURTADO
All I know
Is everything is not as it's sold
but the more I grow the less I know
And I have lived so many lives
Though I'm not old
And the more I see, the less I grow
The fewer the seeds the more I sow
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Try... Try
I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness
And all the real people, are really not real at all
The more I learn, the more I learn
The more I cry the more I cry
As I say goodbye to the way of life
I thought I had designed for me
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
I'm all I'll ever be
But all I can do is try ohh try
Try... Try... Try... Try
All of the moments that already passed
already passed)
We'll try to go back and make them last
(make them last)
All of the things we want each other to be
(each other to be)
We never will be, we never will be
And that's wonderful, that's life
That's you baby
This is me baby
We are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are
Free
In our love
We are free in our love
Try...
Last Thursday
Yes D-Day... I'm one of those fallen worthless soldiers... those who said I did a great job... I considered them as liars... for those who condemned me... fuck off... My auntie was one of these "low educated" and "forever a cheap employee" who condemned my result... Since I did very good in my last two major exams... she was not satisfied with my result... I raised my voice on the phone and I told her not to disturb me anymore... She was speechless like her mouth was stuck with a rotting papaya... Enough for my result... I never expect to have such dissapointing result... I don't deserve this result... Many people do too... Especially those who worked hard enough... Overall... it was a day of sorrow to many... Well, I did not give out my very best for the exam... But I could get much more than that... I have lost a battle in my life...for the very first time...
After taking my result... I went to KLCC...again..with Mich....and... a gooseberry, Yuen... We watched Robots...an animation for kids...like Mich... she was so addicted to the movie...while I...enjoyed...it too... consider that "it" as something else.. Yuen was yawning..and... uncomfortable... I think... Somehow... he had free lunch, free ride and free movie... I guess he was happy anyway... Before KLCC, we went to TARC... Mich gonna leave for Penang to study for one year... due to lack of credits in her result... Damn it... life is full of trials... She can't be alone there... What else I can do now...
I'm still here... checked my vital sign... I'm still alive...
Not much about these few days... Tomorrow is 10th March... somebody said it is like D-Day for us... Well...I still don't get it... I thought D-Day only for German... and Hitler... Allied countries suicided their military forces to break thru German... I would say tomorrow is...Thursday...
Ermmm... Mich was so worry about her result... I didn't know what to do... but... I know she can make it... I know she tried her best... Gambate! Piggie boleh!
I met Lin Jie in KLCC LRT station today...well, his infamous name wouldn't appear in my blog if he didn't ask me about MMU... that moron wants to study Multimedia Designs... since he doesnt know what is it...at all... holy crap.... I talked to him about the Pre-U in Melacca for one year... and he was like.. no problem at all... I bet he is still a moron after graduated... what he said reminds me of June again... I'm counting how many days are left... and... what else I gotta do before the end of May...
I feel like I'm losing something... but I don't know what is it.... Since my life changed... I feel ...something from the past is still haunting me... following each steps I walked... I turned around... no one was there... I could feel it's presence... It never ceased to hunt me... It burned my blood with rage...tore my heart into the dark cold valley... poisoned my mind with discourages... It's like ambushing me from no direction... I lost it...but it didnt... it didn't give up me...
Last Saturday
It was a boring day... I was working...nah... just standing for nothing... The clock was ticking slowly... I was thinking of time-machine... Well...supposed to have lunch with Sis... but that stupid GAY Dexter couldn't be punctual... his apologize did not recover anything... Gay sucks... WTF...and I was eating alone again... Sob sob...
Monday...
Another working day... But I was not eating alone this time...I had lunch with Mich and her mom at Dome... The food there sucks but pricy... Anyway, I had a free lunch because Mich's mom paid the bill... Hahaha... I was so glad to meet her mom... Between... I had been eating my lunch alone since I started working... except when Mich visited me... and few times with Wai Kit....
Today...
My off day! Finally... I went to Mich's house... I really dislike her dogs... those little fellows were so fierce to me... I hate dogs... Mich wanted to study architexture design...but her dad didn't allow her to do so... At noon... we went to KLCC and watched movie...as usual? Damn it... it was KLCC again... It was my first Chinese movie in cinema... It was another colorful day... Hehehehe...
Thinking back about few days ago... SR quit his job in Burberry due to National Service aka Nutty Slavery... He will be leaving everything behind for 3 months... pity Vanessa... while... I gotta leave in June...for 1 year... this is not good... I don't feel like going there alone... I'm worry... that I would lose something dear... There are many things I have to do before June haunts me... I wish I have more time...